How to Be Bold and Confident: 5 Secrets to Bulletproof Confidence

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Want to learn the strategies on how to be bold and confident? In this article, I’ll be giving you 4 powerful, actionable steps to build bulletproof confidence. A low self esteem doesn’t have to last forever!

A lot of people want to learn how to be bold at work, bold and beautiful and of course bold and FEARLESS! So if you want to be bold and UNSTOPPABLE, you need to know how to make that first move sometimes.

It might simply be that you need to pretend that you’re already bold in order to achieve the success that you desire. NLP or  Neuro-Linguistic Programming helps with this tremendously! In life, we need to ask for what we want!

To be bold and confident, you need to practice doing different things to push you out of your comfort zone as well as taking more risks. Being shy or passive will never get you that life you desire and leave you feeling unfulfilled in life so let’s change that now and breakdown the secret sauce so you can learn how to be more bold and confident in life.

Step #1 To be bold and confident is to accept yourself.

Acceptance is the first step to gaining confidence. You have to give yourself grace for the habits you’ve adopted in reaction to your life. It is what it is. By acknowledging that it exists, and accepting that you can be better, you can finally start freeing yourself from it.

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Things that you can’t change are a core part of who you are. They’ll present a challenge for you in your entire life, but that doesn’t have to limit your potential. I’ll give you an example.

My oldest daughter has been plagued with being a slowpoke her whole life. Not at all in the area of intellect, but in how long it took her to do most things. This included getting ready for the day, doing chores, and doing school. Not only would she procrastinate and dilly-dally, but she’d be such a perfectionist with everything that the actual task itself would take forever!

When she was a young child, I could see how much it bothered her. Logically, she knew that getting her tasks done faster would give her more time to play. She just didn’t know how to stop!

To fix this problem, I taught her what I want to teach you today: Use tools. You’re free to live with your quirks and idiosyncrasies as long as you put tools and systems into place so that it doesn’t hold you back – or worse, affect other people.

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For her problem, I told her to use timers for everything. At first, she seemed offended. “You mean, everything everything?” I seemed to be implying she couldn’t do anything without a crutch. While I wish I could have reassured her that wasn’t true, it is! And that’s something we all have to accept for ourselves.

Even if you have two strong legs and a healthy body, you have your shortcomings. Like anyone born with a visible disability… You have to find a crutch. They’ve accepted theirs, and now you have to accept yours without shame. There is far less shame in having that inner strength than allowing it to ruin the rest of your life and bother other people.

#2: Start taking some action!

One of the surest ways to be bold and confident is to start actively pursuing a goal. You may have noticed that the joy you’ve felt from achieving past goals was fleeting. This doesn’t mean that there is no point in growth – it means that you’ve proven yourself that you can, and the novelty only wore off because you didn’t keep it up!

“To improve is to change, so to be perfect is to change often.” -Winston Churchill

Humans are creatures with boundless potential. By nature, we crave growth as one of our basic human needs. Without growth, there are few other ways to fulfill our need for variety and significance. If you can’t be proud of who you are even when nobody else is watching, you will never truly be fulfilled.

Feeling lost with where to start? Check out this article on effective goal setting: How to Make Goals That Work: Why You’re Not Achieving Your Dreams

#3: Part of being bold and confident is owning your success.

There are so many of us who are too worried about sounding narcissistic when we own our successes. If you want to be bold and confident, there is no shame in tooting your own horn now and then, and it doesn’t have to sound arrogant.

All you have to do is say it with the right attitude. When you’re about to say something you’re proud of, take this into account:

  • Don’t begin with negativity. Starting off with things like, “I hate to brag, but…” subconsciously implies you’re bragging to everyone in the room, including you. Instead, begin with positivity. “I’m happy to share this news with you!” or even “I worked so hard on this. I’m happy to see it paying off.”
  • It’s not bragging if you give credit where it’s due. Was there someone else who supported you? Thank them for the part they played.
  • Do it WITHOUT any intention of either making other people feel worse, and WITHOUT the expectation that they will acknowledge it.

Remembering your successes regularly is critical to feeling confident in your ability. It’s too easy to forget when we’re all wrapped up in life.

#4: To be bold and confident, monitor your self-talk. 

Do you speak more kindly to others than to yourself? Negative self-talk is a common problem, and it often comes from negative beliefs. We constantly beat ourselves up for not being ‘enough’ of something.

Any time you catch yourself saying you’re not enough of something, ask yourself this one powerful question.

If I could stand outside of myself right now, and see someone telling me what I just said to myself… Wouldn’t that make me angry?

It’s likely that doesn’t feel so great to think about. You’d even want to call that person a bully, or something worse. If that isn’t bad enough, imagine someone saying what you said to yourself… but to a best friend. Suddenly, that stings a lot worse, doesn’t it? Why the double standard?

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Learn to keep close watch on what you say to yourself. Keep away from anything you would not feel comfortable saying to your best friend. Because, let’s face it – you’re the one friend you’ll have for the rest of your life.

#5: Go ahead and fake it!

Many studies have been published on the effects of “faking it until you make it”. Here’s one on the link between bad posture and bad feelings. Faking a smile might feel like too much, but changing your posture is a quick and easy change to make.

Remember when I touched on using tools and systems in the beginning of this article? There’s a tool for this, too. Set reminders on your phone every couple of hours that remind you to stand or sit up straight. There’s nothing to be embarrassed by if you’re the only one who knows what that reminder is for.

Now over to you! Tell me in the comments what area of your life you would like to be bold and confident in? 

10 Comments

  1. It is so true that women are often taught as children to be modest and downplay any achievements. They carry these lessons into adulthood so it’s no wonder they question themselves and have a lack of confidence. Learning to think and act differently is definitely a key step towards a happier and more fulfilling life.

  2. Confidence can do so much for a person and it’s lovely to see you’re sharing your tips! I actually say ‘fake it til you make it’ so much haha – it works in so many situations!

    Rosie

    http://www.rosieromance.com

  3. Loved these tips so much. Indeed we need to accept what we are, we need to accept our interests, success and failure. Learning from the failures, listening to inspirational stories, energizing with positive thoughts, meditating can definitely help one be confident.

  4. I can be all of these pointers except the first. that is the part I do not get it, even after reading. People sometimes feel if they go bold enough, it might backfire them. How to know when to stop?

  5. All these points are so relevant. Taking action and monitoring self-talk can have a huge impact on our confidence.

  6. Claire

    These are some great tips, I think confidence is really important! It’s all about practice and believing in that you can do it.

  7. Absolutely right – having a goal plan is ESSENTIAL for focus. One tip I heard years ago is to behave like you’ve already accomplished the goal, and the goal will seem that much more attainable

  8. These are all great tips for learning how to be bold and confident. I’m a big fan of shouting about your achievements from the rooftops. I love celebrating people’s successes 🙂

    Louise x
    Louise recently posted…A Woman’s Guide To Letting Love Grow GraduallyMy Profile

  9. Faking it is the process of praxis. And it does work for sure. Self-talk is also extremely important I agree. That or the owning my own success is often the most difficult for me. Being happy with what I have done is a good thing.
    David Elliott recently posted…70 Days of Thankfulness – Week Ten Plus RecapMy Profile

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