In this article I talk about what to do when your life is out of control. I was inspired to write this when a client says, “help my life is out of control!”
Are you looking to regain control of your life? So many people have come to me desperate for a solution to the chaos in their life. In this video, I’ll share everything you need to know to start restoring a sense of balance in life, as well as feeling at peace again.
In this day and age, we’re coming and going at lightning speeds. Today, finding peace in the chaos of everyday life is an issue that comes from a reader.
Seeking some sense of ‘normalcy’ in life is a common goal. What is normalcy, anyway?
My Life is Out of Control: Sameness AND Variety Are Both Human Needs. But How?!
Normalcy, to most people, is a sense of consistency and control. Consistency is, believe it or not, just as much of a human need as variety. While the two seem to contradict one another, it’s easy to see how there is a place for each in our lives. Someone who spontaneously sells everything to move to a new country, yet seeks out familiarity where they can. Someone can be a homebody, yet still crave a good party from time to time.
When we introduce something new into our lives, it can flip everything else topsy-turvy. As more and more new things come into our lives before we have the chance to fully adapt to each change, we lose control. We start living life reactively instead of proactively.
Let’s say that you have a new marriage. When you were dating, it was all just fun. As soon as things got ‘official’, there was a lot more to consider. Now, you live with someone again – something you haven’t had to get used to since you were a kid. There are a lot of shared responsibilities that require communication.
Not only has the relationship changed, but now your expectations have to change.
The ‘Placemat Method’ is one of my favorite ways to keep my life in check, so that I never find myself saying that I feel like my life is out of control. Let’s break into what the Placemat Method is.
Tips to Cope When You Feel Out of Control in Life and How to Restore Balance in Life: You Can’t Keep it All in Your Head!
With this method, you write down everything you have to do. Not just the important stuff. EVERYTHING everything. This relieves you from having to think about these things.
We all like to believe we can remember all our tasks just by keeping it in our heads, but the problem is, you can’t make room for it all. Between everything we have to do and everything we have to react to, whatever we’re thinking about can be gone in an instant if we don’t write it down.
Next, what you want to do is take a look at this list and identify what the 6 highest priorities are. Then, you want to dissect them and determine if these priorities align with your highest values. What ultimate goals are you working toward? Do these 6 highest priorities bring you closer to those goals?
If they don’t, it may be time to move some around. Read more about discovering what’s important here.
I’m family-oriented, and a high value of mine is that my family feels loved. I didn’t grow up feeling loved, so I want to do everything I can to make sure that my children never have to experience that. Because of this, I’m always sure to include them in my highest priorities.
Is love a high value to you too? Sometimes, all it takes to give love is to show someone they’re on your mind. It can be a 2-minute love letter on a sticky note. It can be a $5 coffee mug with a caption that made you think of your spouse. Or even a text that says, “I’m thinking of you. I miss you.”
Giving energy to your highest values doesn’t have to take long. In the end, a baby step every day in the right direction is further than standing still. If writing your first novel is high on your list of priorities, yet you have other strong values taking up your time, set a timer to work on it for just an hour a night.
Remember: It’s never about having enough time for what matters. It’s about knowing your values and setting aside time for each of them.