The discussion expands on the “I Want To Change My Life” series as we discuss becoming aware and recognizing the need for change.
So far we have discussed a few missing keys that go beyond motivation and inspiration in the first part here with real action steps. Then in part II, we get clear and delve further into commitment for real change. As we go into part III today, you’ll see how becoming aware of the need for change can be confusing and contribute to the unfortunate roadblock that can get in the way.
The discussion expands on the “I Want To Change My Life” series as we discuss becoming aware and recognizing the need for change. So far we have discussed a few missing keys that go beyond motivation and inspiration in the first part here with real action steps. Then in part II, we get clear and delve further into commitment for real change. As we go into part III today, you’ll see how becoming aware of the need for change can be confusing and contribute to the unfortunate roadblock that can get in the way.
“I want to change my life but how can I when people around me suck?” He goes on to say… “I suck at everything so I want to change my life NOW!”
Wow, now that was a bit out of the blue and what seemed to be off the cuff with a bit of snarky anger!
I was a bit surprised at the honesty of one client as he began to “go off” on his friends and family about how they were miserable to be around and they themselves needed to change. The emotion was clearly strong! I swear that I could see the steam come off of his skin and I thought for a second his head was going to explode.
I want to change my life but it’s much easier to blame everyone else.
People are imperfect by nature and seem to reflect their problems on to others by sometimes finding a reason to complain about their life. Being envious of others who are in a better place than us is a human frailty. Many people begin to compare their own life and what they have and what they have accomplished with the friends, co-workers and family who are around them. Suddenly, everything bad in their live becomes magnified.
Does this diminish their problems? Does blaming make their problems go away?
Blaming is usually done by someone who is in denial. Taking responsibility is a large part of recognizing the need for change. We can continue to blame our situations or others around us but we need to look inward to see what it is that we need to do. What part of the situation is up to me to change is what we need to focus on.
This is really difficult for most people.
Let’s take a look at reasons to change.
Everyone has different reasons for wanting a better life. I do know of some people who are perfectly content with slaving long hours at work to make ends meet. It’s so interesting how we are so different.
Are you looking to make things better in your life because you are simply fed up with not making any real strides towards your goals? Maybe you don’t even have any goals and are going through your life without any heart. Some people are jealous of the successes they see in other people. Have you finally realized that you deserve more?
It’s not unusual to be discontent with what you have. It’s common to go visit a friend and see all their cool grown-up toys and want more. If you are tired of not having the lifestyle that you want, now you need to uncover what it is that you need to do to acquire these things.
“I want to change my life but I don’t know where to start.”
Change begins when you make a decision. The first step is knowing what you want. It helps to know why you want it too. The reason this is part of getting what you want is because it puts you in a feeling place. It’s one thing for your mind to create something but it’s not until you want it with your that it becomes a reality.
It’s great to do all of the internal work but don’t forget that you will need strategy, you will simply need to assert yourself. When a person begins to aspire for greater things in their life, they begin to see potential. Without seeing what the potential is, we don’t seem to find the courage to work towards it. Everyone deserves to go out and grab the job or relationship of their dreams, and if you think that you DON’T deserve that, honestly you DON’T have a shot at getting what you want out of life.
I want to change my life but how do I make it happen?
For me, growing up without the support and wisdom of parents, I didn’t know what my potential was. Then being homeless and utterly in desperation at 13 years old, I didn’t know the first thing about how to change my life. Though I seemed to have a strong belief that I would somehow have a better life, I had no role models to follow. All that I had was a desire. It would have been so easy to blame my parents, the school, or the system for letting me live this way but I only looked at the other side which was the HOW of it all. How was I going to make it all happen?
For you, it may be recognizing that you deserve more or seeing the possibilities because of someone that you know that is accomplishing what it is that you want. It is normal for you to begin to measure your life against others. This is after all, what lifts us up to ask for more out of life. It is now that you realize how important it is for you to find a role model. This is how you will begin your journey of change.
It’s one thing for you to want more, know what it is that you want but without looking to someone to learn what it is that you need to do, you won’t be able to plan your first step. Understand that it doesn’t matter if you got off track for a few years and you’re now older. It’s never too late, for your own transformation. There is no right or wrong time for a change, and if you think that it is now, then nothing should stop you making it happen.
Action Steps: How to Make a Change (Grab a paper an pencil and let’s get to work with a little journaling).
- Let’s hone in on what it is that you want and determine your goals. Don’t be lazy and think that you are going to keep your answers in your head. Write down now WHY do you want to change your life? People want to change for a specific reason, and you should determine why you want to do it. The answer to this question will serve as your goal, which in turn, should lead you to the right path. Knowing WHAT you want serves as the right motivating factor to bring about change.
- Now you need some strategy. If you have uncovered that you need some education first then by all means, let’s include this. Write out your plan of attack! If you aren’t going to take the time to invest in yourself in getting serious in writing this plan down, your results are reduced by 50%! A plan will dictate the course of your life and it will outline the journey that you will take. This is a REAL technique that successful people do so don’t minimize the importance. Making a change and turning your life around is not easy, but if you have a plan you will have a stronger foundation for your goals.
- Remember, you NEED a mentor or coach. Ask for help. You are not a super hero. Doing the impossible and conquering the unknown is going to be hard all on it’s own. When you have someone to stand by your side and guide you, all of the pieces will come together exactly as you want them. All successful people know this fact. You are not an island so reach out and create some great relationships an get the guidance that you need.
You took the first step when you said, “I want to change my life.” There is so much information and resources for you today. It’s all about whether or not you will do the work. Your future YOU is waiting out there, my friend. It’s up to you now.