“I suck at life“. “I suck at relationships“. “I suck at everything!” I have heard these things by clients so many times and it is usually followed by “…And I feel so depressed!” In general terms when a person is feeling this low in our society, there is a propensity to visiting a doctor and seeking out depression medication.
If you have ever felt this way then read on.
I Suck! The Sarcastic Or Playful Way We Make Fun Of Ourselves
Personally, I can remember times when I have made these types of comments as a way to poke fun of myself when I make a mistake. No, I definitely wasn’t depressed, nor do I feel like I suck at everything, either.
It was a sarcastic way for me laugh at myself. I’m the type of person who prefers to laugh at myself every time I make mistakes. It feels more lighthearted to react to mistakes then the alternative.
I can be such a dork at times, but I don’t care what people think. Handing other people the keys to your own happiness is no way to live life. So, what do I suck at?
- I suck at math… like, REALLY suck at math. Sometimes, it looks like a foreign language to me.
- I’m secretly lazy about a lot of things.
- I’m a neat-freak. Mess even interferes with my ability to focus.
- I can’t speak any other languages.
- I don’t play any instruments well.
- I sing off-key… but I sing out loud anyway.
- I’m NOT graceful, and I stumble when I walk… Wow, what a dork!
Whew! That was fun. I could go on but I believe it is an exercise in futility. It has no greater meaning in life to beat myself up about these things.
I Feel Depressed Because I Suck!
The alternative to laughing at yourself in times like these is to kick yourself when you’re already down. Honestly, my heart really goes out to people who stab themselves continually when they make mistakes. This is typical of people with a low self-esteem.
Meet Sam, a client of mine who came to me feeling a bit low. When I asked him what his challenge was, he paused for a moment then answered…
“I just feel so depressed because I suck at everything”
You just want to reach out and give him a strong hug. I could see it in his posture, his depressed state was evident by a low-hanging head and rounded, forward slumped shoulders. Clearly,some things have happened his Sam’s life where he made some mistakes, and he didn’t know how to express it any other way than to say, “I suck at everything.”
The session went on for an hour and I was able to get his physical and mental state to be elevated. A one-hit wonder? I think not. We were able to lift him out of his wallowing, but he still had some destructive beliefs about himself that were holding him back.
Although we did have some success in helping him feel better about his life, only the masters in self improvement can have a major life transformation in one session. We continued to see each other and make the life changes that he needed to get over his depression.
Overcome Your Depression And Sadness
It’s no coincidence that Sam was able to feel better and ultimately overcome his depression and sadness without medication. The mind is so much more powerful than you realize. Please be aware of the power that is within your mind right now that can elevate you to better feelings and a happier life.
The techniques that we used with him are simple, but what can you do to feel better about your life? Here are some valuable strategies on how to feel better that anyone can use.
- Practice finding your daily victories instead of counting your failures. It doesn’t matter how small they are. If the best you can say about today is that you got out of bed, embrace it. You’re already one step ahead of the person still laying listlessly in bed.
- Recite the aspects that you and others like about yourself.
- NEVER say “I suck” OR “I feel depressed” again. “I-” anything is a thought that you’re attaching to your very being. Don’t give these words the power to define who you are – wouldn’t you get angry if someone else tried to define you with them?
- Have a more positive “go to” statement instead when you make a mistake. Have you ever noticed that a child who falls flat on his bottom only cries if you react with concern, but if you don’t give his mind the power to feel bad for himself, he gets back up and returns to playing? You give yourself the power to feel a specific way about any situation by how you react to it.
- Use music to lift your mood whenever possible.
- Move your body! Exercise! Dance! Depressed people withdraw, slouch, and literally practice exactly what it LOOKS like to be depressed, and it makes them feel even worse! Change your physical state to help your mental state. For a more comprehensive explanation of how your posture, facial expression, and behavior patterns impact your mood and confidence, you can read more here.
Looking for more ways to improve your self-esteem? Recommended reading…