Learning how to trust your gut sounds a lot easier than it actually is for some people. In fact, looking back at nearly ALL of the mistakes in my life so far, I can tie them all together and tell you WHY I made them. It’s because I didn’t trust my gut. I call it my “gut-o-meter”.
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Recently, an old boyfriend asked me to get back together with him and he said all the right things. We ended our relationship because we wanted different things not because we didn’t have a “thing” for each other.
So when he contacted me full of love and admiration, I felt like maybe he was ready for the kind of relationship that I wanted. That small voice in my head spoke to me. “He hasn’t changed, it’s not real.”
I didn’t listen and I began seeing him and went out with him a few times. It was fairly quick that I realized that nothing had changed and I had made a mistake. Thankfully, this was not a very big mistake, it’s merely an example of how I should have listened to the small, quiet voice in my head or gut. It’ ALWAYS knows.
Why do I do this!? Why do I make these mistakes, time and time again?!
Not the same mistakes, of course. Nonetheless, I hear that small, quiet voice and I follow through with the wrong decision anyway.
Do you trust your gut?
Thinking back to a conversation that I had with a client, I remember he said, “nice guys finish last.” This is a perfect example of how we believe that it’s not nice to ask for what we want. This is actually a more feminine trait and something that women are quite familiar with.
We as women believe we’ll come across like a b!tch. We believe we’ll offend another person or worst yet, that someone else knows better than we do. We don’t trust ourselves.
You know what the root of all of this is? We lack confidence to stand up for ourselves. We don’t stand up for ourselves and say NO!
Think about every time you made a mistake, it was probably because you didn’t listen to your inner intuition. I have a few tips on how you can learn to trust your gut.
I think the first step is learning to “be your own best friend”. After all, your best friend would want you to trust your gut, right?
These strategies can help you discover how to stand up for yourself and trust your gut better.
- Follow your own internal rules for what to do and not do. Listen to what your heart, mind, soul, and gut is telling you. Refrain from doing something you don’t respect.
- Be protective of yourself. Refrain from allowing others to mistreat or take advantage of you. You deserve better than people who question you or challenge you for being in touch with your intuition. Let them go. If they’re emotionally mature enough, maybe they will admire you for being so confident in your instincts and your worth.
- Stand up for yourself. If someone has treated you unfairly, let them know you’ve noticed and that you don’t appreciate it. Then, tell them in an appropriate manner what you want or need from them.
- Consider your own needs first. Although some would say this is selfish, in most instances, it makes perfect sense. After all, you’ll struggle in helping others if you aren’t taking care of yourself. So keep yourself in the best shape you can, emotionally and physically.
- Know your own priorities and live your life in consideration of them. Once you establish what’s important to you, you’ll be able to go after whatever it is you want in life.
Vow to be your own best friend by following these strategies which will help you learn to trust your gut. Learning to treat yourself with kindness, respect and care will pay off throughout your life.
When you don’t trust your gut, you sometimes fail to make decisions.
This opens you up to a detrimental limiting belief that your intuition is not to be trusted. In fact, failing to make a decision is the same as choosing chaos and failure. Life is messy. Not making decisions invites chaos into your life.
Decisions can get to the point of being impossible when you don’t trust your gut. When it comes to making big decisions, it’s often best to trust your heart. Be logical with the little decisions, but go with your gut on the big decisions.
Consider your ideal life. If you don’t have a vision for your life, create one now. Consider where you want to be. It’s much easier to choose a path once you know where you’re going. Align your decisions with that objective. This will give you strength and courage so that you can stand strong when the time comes for your “gut-o-meter” kicks in. It can be easier to trust your gut when you have a plan and a vision.
When all else fails and you can’t seem to trust your gut, find wisdom elsewhere.
Wisdom is not only knowledge that is born out of experience—wisdom is also knowing when to apply what you know in sensible ways. Whenever you’re struggling with a life situation or phase, having the wisdom to navigate the rough waters can be emotionally life-saving. But where and how do you find wisdom when you need it?
Sometimes, we just need a little help. Call a close parent, a best friend, or seek out a support group of people on the same journey as you. Facebook groups are a great resource.
Talk with coach you respect. They may offer some insight from their own experience that could be of great help to you now. Embrace their stories and experiences.
Others will often share stories and follow them with comments such as, “This is what I did and it did not work for me,” which can also shed some effective insight on your current struggle.
Observe and listen. Believe it or not, wisdom might be “happening” right in front of you. Watch others. What do they say? What do they do? Open your eyes and learn from the experiences of others. The fact is that others are often offering their wisdom to us. We just don’t notice it. Re-discovering what is all around you is an effective channel to wisdom.