What do you do when you get to a point in your life where you realize that it is not working? Not just that but you sit with your head in your hands feeling lost, discouraged and broken.
When a person gets to this point it is obvious that something needs to change. Some people get caught up in the “blame game” and point fingers to off-set the responsibility. Sure, sometimes people do things to us that create trauma in our life that is unexpected. I’ve been there too.
Imagine the woman who marries a man who ends up totally ignoring her or worse has an affair. What’s she suppose to do now? Or what about the woman who hates every day in her soul-sucking 9 to 5 job in a small cubicle? How empty she must feel but what direction should she go in when she is simply distraught over her life?
We need to take responsibility for what to do with the prison we call “our life” once we discover it isn’t working for us or enriching us any longer.
When life breaks you, it’s time to drastically change your life!
I know a little something about this. The first part of my life was completely beyond my control. I didn’t create the prison of abuse then abandonment. I was only a child.
Having a rough start in life brought turmoil to me as a young adult until I began to figure everything out. This is another example of how we can’t take 100% responsibility for our life but to do the best with the cards that have been dealt to us.
After that though, it is what we do with our life, how we cope and how we respond that is 100% our responsibility. For me, it was the relationships that I went into openly that presented me with heartache and distress.
It was the dead-end jobs that left me unfulfilled. It was never pushing myself to grow that created the boredom. It was not saying “no” to people that brought circumstances in my life that weren’t authentic to who I am.
But who am I?
You see, we go through the phases and stages of our life believing that we know who we are, and what we want. A person who wants to be a teacher, then discovers they hate being a teacher now is faced with having to go back to school and start all over. What makes that situation worse is realizing that they did it to themselves. No one forced them to spend money on school and attend all those hours studying.
You realize, you didn’t know what you really wanted after all. Or, maybe even worse yet, you look at the whole experience as if you failed.
The beginning of your new life starts with a greater understanding but most of all, it begins with acceptance. There is so much power in acceptance. You won’t see it if you are reveling in bitterness and resentment.
It is what has happened to us good, bad and especially the unexpected that teaches us who we really are and what we want out of life. Even then, we will change and grow from there with new understanding and wisdom.
Ultimately becoming homeless out of pain, abuse and abandonment may have been the outcome for me when I was young but I am grateful. It is this experience that taught me the greatest lesson that I hold so close.
I am strong. I am a survivor. I am worthy of love and so much more.
Ending a very long marriage was difficult, and I did break down. However tragic it was, seeing the lessons I could apply to my new life helped me in moving forward. Now, I know what I want for my relationships. I am grateful for the experience. It has taught me not to settle in love… Even if it was a long, hard lesson to learn.
It is when life breaks us and brings us to our knees that molds us and prepares us to emerge even stronger than before, and create a shiny new life. Before we can ever hope to live the the life we’re meant to have, we have to break out of the prisons we’ve created first.
It’s your values that will lead you in the direction you want to go.
It’s one thing to know what’s wrong in your life, but it’s quite another to move forward without bitterness and resentment. Beyond moving forward, being able to grow into grace, love, forgiveness and joy only comes from knowing your values.
At this point, we realize that we need a life plan. Knowing your values is not enough. You see, as humans we chase the next big thing and easily become side-tracked. This is exactly why so many people don’t reach the level of success in their life that they desire.
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Knowledge may be power but it is NOT enough. You need to practice your plan each and every day. You need to make small incremental changes every-single-day in order to see results.
Creating the life of your dreams is possible but it takes determination and marathon-like determination.
It took me YEARS to create a life that I love and frankly, I’m not quite there yet. Going from pain, misery, confusion and overwhelm to a glorious, abundant life isn’t something that happens quickly. The transition takes sometimes years so my advice… Be ready for the marathon but keep your eye on your dreams and your focus on your values, day in and day out!