In this article I talk about what to do when your life is out of control. I was inspired to write this when a client says, “help my life is out of control!”
Are you looking to regain control of your life? So many people have come to me desperate for a solution to the chaos in their life. In this video, I’ll share everything you need to know to start restoring a sense of balance in life, as well as feeling at peace again.
In this day and age, we’re coming and going at lightning speeds. Today, finding peace in the chaos of everyday life is an issue that comes from a reader.
Seeking some sense of ‘normalcy’ in life is a common goal. What is normalcy, anyway?
My Life is Out of Control: Sameness AND Variety Are Both Human Needs. But How?!
Normalcy, to most people, is a sense of consistency and control. Consistency is, believe it or not, just as much of a human need as variety. While the two seem to contradict one another, it’s easy to see how there is a place for each in our lives. Someone who spontaneously sells everything to move to a new country, yet seeks out familiarity where they can. Someone can be a homebody, yet still crave a good party from time to time.
When we introduce something new into our lives, it can flip everything else topsy-turvy. As more and more new things come into our lives before we have the chance to fully adapt to each change, we lose control. We start living life reactively instead of proactively.
Let’s say that you have a new marriage. When you were dating, it was all just fun. As soon as things got ‘official’, there was a lot more to consider. Now, you live with someone again – something you haven’t had to get used to since you were a kid. There are a lot of shared responsibilities that require communication.
Not only has the relationship changed, but now your expectations have to change.
The ‘Placemat Method’ is one of my favorite ways to keep my life in check, so that I never find myself saying that I feel like my life is out of control. Let’s break into what the Placemat Method is.
Tips to Cope When You Feel Out of Control in Life and How to Restore Balance in Life: You Can’t Keep it All in Your Head!
With this method, you write down everything you have to do. Not just the important stuff. EVERYTHING everything. This relieves you from having to think about these things.
We all like to believe we can remember all our tasks just by keeping it in our heads, but the problem is, you can’t make room for it all. Between everything we have to do and everything we have to react to, whatever we’re thinking about can be gone in an instant if we don’t write it down.
Next, what you want to do is take a look at this list and identify what the 6 highest priorities are. Then, you want to dissect them and determine if these priorities align with your highest values. What ultimate goals are you working toward? Do these 6 highest priorities bring you closer to those goals?
If they don’t, it may be time to move some around. Read more about discovering what’s important here.
I’m family-oriented, and a high value of mine is that my family feels loved. I didn’t grow up feeling loved, so I want to do everything I can to make sure that my children never have to experience that. Because of this, I’m always sure to include them in my highest priorities.
Is love a high value to you too? Sometimes, all it takes to give love is to show someone they’re on your mind. It can be a 2-minute love letter on a sticky note. It can be a $5 coffee mug with a caption that made you think of your spouse. Or even a text that says, “I’m thinking of you. I miss you.”
Giving energy to your highest values doesn’t have to take long. In the end, a baby step every day in the right direction is further than standing still. If writing your first novel is high on your list of priorities, yet you have other strong values taking up your time, set a timer to work on it for just an hour a night.
Remember: It’s never about having enough time for what matters. It’s about knowing your values and setting aside time for each of them.
I find meditation, yoga and exercise help me to balance and centre myself. I think it important for me to take that time for myself to stop me getting stressed.
I so agree with the writing down method – visualising makes things less scary and… well, it’s SO nice to cross things off your list…
It certainly all makes sense and is probably working if you are a little bit down. But I’m afraid that we all have to face situations in life that are prone to kick us off our tracks. Once you’ve lost your balance and feel to be out of control it’s very hard to get centered. But I must say this is a thing that gets easier with a certain age – at least there are some advantages 😉
This was so helpful to read, I have been struggling to regain control of my life, it’s not always easy to regain balance! Thank you for sharing.
“It’s never about having enough time for what matters. It’s about knowing your values and setting aside time for each of them.”
Thanks for this reminder! I really need this right now. I feel that I have a lot of things to do but now I guess I should think about my priorities first.
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I used to have a terrible problem with balance, mostly because I was taking on far too many things. A couple of years ago, I really began to address my Disease to Please, started saying no to most new requests, and removing things from my life that didn’t serve me anymore. Best decision I ever made. x
I have a hard time finding balance in my life! Life is so busy it is sometimes hard to find that perfect balance.
as a digital nomad freelancer I’m always re-balancing my life rhythms and and life-working balance. This is one of th hardest but ordinary and necessary parts of my routine. So thank you for sharing with us these tips and motivation
Prioritize the things that have high priority is something I’m working on now. I’m glad I read this, it’s like putting me back to the ground and analyze my way of working and organize. Thank you!
Sharon I’ve been binge reading your blog all morning! I wanted to comment on your abundance mindset post but the comments are closed? I really loved this post too. “A baby step every day in the right direction is further than standing still.” pretty much sums up where I’m at right now. I feel much more in tune with the bigger picture now, but I’m still fighting off my bad mental habits. Your blog is amazing, keep up the great work!
Very well written post. I love your closing sentence, it really sums up a solution to a lot of problem in life. People using the phrase “I don’t have enough time” as an excuse, way too much these days, and with a little change in their mindset all their problems could be solved.
That was actually something that I had not thought of before and its probably why I struggle to sleep at night. Maybe if I wrote down everything that I was thinking of it would stop me from feeling exhausted at night as I toss and turn and try and sleep. Thank you for the advice.
Getting the right balance can be tricky I need to prioritise things better definitely. Great post!
For me, I do have lots of thought in my head and I also find myself very helpful to write it down on a journal and keep my motivation going. Also, I find yoga and meditation daily routine helps me also.
As my profession, I have to work whenever I can. Even if I did my fair share of work hours, there are few situations where I have to work from home. But thanks to some meditation, I, at least can keep my head calm.
For me, good sleep, hot bath, and exercise help me to balance my life whenever my life is out of control. It makes me relax and rejuvenate…it is a very well-written post. Thank you for sharing these tips and motivation.
Sometimes I feel when I’ve been on the go and things are getting a bit crazy that I just need to take a full day out and be selfish and make myself feel good x
Finding balance can be so hard for me sometimes, but I always try to take a step back and look at what my priorities are and how I can organize my time more efficiently. Great post!
Sometimes I can feel life to be overwhelming. Finding balance can be a real challenge. On days I feel this way I take time to do something I like and enjoy. Then I find I have re-centered myself.
Georgia Stallcop recently posted…Natural Homemade Apple Sauce
The first step is acknowledgement. Some folks don’t stop long enough to ask the question. Kudos on your journey!
Definitely true! So funny how, even looong after 4 years old, we all hope that problems will go away if we don’t look at them 🙂 If only!
I find meditation, yoga and exercise help me to balance and centre myself.
All great suggestions! We should all set aside more time for re-centering ourselves.
I have always used yoga and meditation in order to calm down and regain focus, as well as my faith helps me remail calm through prayer! I loved reading your post!
Those are some excellent techniques! Meditation is something anyone can benefit from. Sooo nice for gaining clarity and setting an intention for the rest of the day.
All these points are so true! I don’t usually write stuff down but I have great friends that let me just unwind about life now and then.
Sounds like true friends to me! We all need a shoulder to cry on sometimes.
I’ve found the biggest thing for maintaining balance in my life is to say no to most things. I used to take on far too many things and felt overwhelmed all of the time. Now, I’m very mindful of what I can indeed accomplish in a day and the sense of peace I get from only doing a few things (and doing them well). x
It’s good to understand your boundaries. When you firmly espect your own boundaries, you set an example that teaches others to respect them, too.
You are right when you imply that you need to live life proactively instead of reactively. Things never go well when you do this. Journaling is something that would help with that I think. Unfortunately I tend to treat it in a reactive manner.
David Elliott recently posted…70 Days Of Thankfulness – Week Nine
This post is a helpful reminder that we should not forget to keep the right balance in our lives, in the hectic world that we live in. At home I make a week planning and include all the things that I have to do and at work I always make a to do list. This helps me to keep my mind at ease.